Size Matters
by greengirl82
Summary: Believe it or not, it all started over a conversation about size... Written For: saturdayslump


**Size Matters**

Disclaimer: CBS and their affiliates owns Criminal Minds, but I own this story.

Summary: It all started over a little chat about size...

Special Thanks To: **saturdayslump** for the hilarious chat. Enjoy.

A/N: This popped into my head and I thought, why not?

Thanks for reading, I hope you leave a review...

* * *

><p>"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Mark Twain<p>

* * *

><p>"Huge" Garcia said, sipping her coffee, earning a shocked look from the brunette next to her, "What? Like I'm the only one whose imagined it."<p>

"Garcia" JJ said, choking on her bottled water as the two other two women look at her with concern when she coughs, "I'm good."

"How the hell did we get here?" Emily asked as she took a sip of her hot chocolate, savoring the whip cream.

"Uh, you drove?" Garcia teased, earning a glare, "What, guys can talk about boob sizes and butts, but us, three normal, and healthy sexually active women can't even talk about sizes?"

Emily tilted her head to the side, "You've got that right, except for the normal or sexually active part in my case."

Garcia gasped as she looked over at Emily, "Oh no, gumdrop, tell me you're not knocking boots with anyone?"

Emily groaned as she closed her eyes, "How about we not talk about about the tragedy that is my love life and talk about something else?"

"Goody, back to the packages of our very favorite BAU boys?" Garcia said, "Now, who first?"

"Not Reid" both Emily and JJ said, simultaneously.

"Why not?" Garcia asked, setting her paper cup down, "He's so... well Reid."

"Exactly, it's just so wrong to talk about him like that" Emily told the bubbly blonde, "He's like a brother to me."

"Well not to me" Garcia grinned, "I'm guesstimating on a scale of one to thirteen, he's about a seven."

"Seven?" both JJ and Emily repeat, the brunette shuddered thinking of Reid like that.

"Huh" JJ said, "Well."

Garcia turned her attention to JJ, "What exactly happened on that date to the football game you two went on?"

Emily's head whipped around, "What date?"

"Thanks alot" JJ whispered, "Before your joined the team, on Spence's birthday, Gideon gave him some football tickets and he asked me on a... well kind of a date."

"And did you two...?" Emily asked.

"No!" JJ protested, "He kissed me on the cheek and said goodnight."

Garcia sighed at that thought, while JJ exhaled a deep breath but Emily just looked bored.

"Any-who, getting back to the matter at hand" Garcia said giggling at her innuendo, "How about my mocha man candy?"

"How about we not?" JJ sighed, "Look it's a nice day, despite it still being winter so how about we just enjoy the..."

"JJ, it's not bad to talk about it, so shh and just think" Garcia told her, picking up her drink, "On the scale?"

"Ten" Emily said, grinning at both shocked women, "Ok, so I did do some thinking about it when I first joined the team."

"You had a thing for my man candy" Garcia clapped her gloved hands in glee, "You like Derek?"

Emily rolled her eyes, "Not anymore, at least not like that. He's more of a friend then anything else."

The analyst nodded in agreement, "Ten, JJ?"

"Eight?" JJ shrugged, "Hey, he's got more muscles but I'm not complaining, but I honestly hadn't given him much thought in that area."

"Fair enough" Garcia agreed, "How about... Rossi?"

"Nope, not even going there at all" Emily said emphatically, "He's too much like a father to me."

"Oh, pooh you're no fun" Garcia said, sipping on her coffee as an idea popped into her head, "Say, there is a few more fellas on the list."

Both female profilers shot each other a look then eyed the blonde in front of them.

"No" JJ told her, shaking her head.

"But you don't even know what I'm going to say" Garcia protested.

"I don't care how you sugar coat it, I so don't want to picture him naked." Emily added firmly.

"But..." Garcia gasped, "How can you not want to? He's so scrumptious."

"Anderson?" both women ask in shock.

"Uh uh" Emily said shaking her head.

"No." JJ stated, pondering this.

Their attention was diverted to the scene in front of them, and Garcia looked at both women.

"What about him?" she asked, a look of glee in her eyes.

* * *

><p>"You're oversimplifying." JJ told the blonde.<p>

"Well he's still too young to lock it up and throw away the key" Garcia pointed out, "He's been single for how long?"

"No one saying it's that easy" Emily stated, "But if you want go for it, go for it."

"Well it's only obvious that he's well endowed" Garcia stated, "I'm rating him a twenty on the list."

"Twenty?" JJ asked, nodding in agreement, "Size?"

"Well he is the epitome of a man" Emily added, "So everything he does has to be perfect, so it's only obvious that he can do that perfectly too."

"You think he rides like a champ?" Garcia asked with a mischievous, "He'd probably win the gold medal in that department. If you know what I mean"

Emily's jaw dropped, "Did you just say that?"

"Hell there's no sugar coating this" Garcia said, "He's a man who likes to be in charge, so..."

Looking at both women, "Ready?"

JJ sighed, "Well considering this is him, we're talking about, lets do it the way he would. Get straight down to the details. Best quality?"

"I think it's his piercing gaze" Emily said, "He has away of making you squirm, and that could be a good thing in the right aspect."

"I think it's that rarely seen humor" JJ said, "When he laughs or even smiles, you can see those dimples."

"I like his ass" Garcia said bluntly, "What have you seen his butt? And can you just imagine his unit?"

Emily laughed, while JJ looked at her blonde friend in surprise.

"Wow" JJ said, "You don't believe in filtering for the public, do you?"

"This is Hotch we're talking about" Garcia told both women, "And besides this is our chat, why are you so surprise about this type of conversation?"

Emily leaned in, "Maybe because he's not twenty feet away? Just coming in from his triathlon run?"

Garcia rolled her eyes, "Potato, potahto."

JJ shrugged, "Ah, what the hell?" leaning in, "Huge, like size twelve."

"How do you figure?" Emily asked.

"Have you seen his feet?" JJ asked.

"I thought it was big hands, big packages" Emily said.

Garcia frowned, "You really think foot size, compares to a penis size?"

Shrugging her shoulders, "Sometimes I'm tempted to grab a measuring tape and check Will while he's asleep."

Both women chuckle at that, "What's so funny, ladies?"

Looking up they see Morgan turn around from his seat, "Well come on, don't keep us in suspense. Share."

He watched the three women tilt their heads to the side, and Dave leaned in, "Don't stare in their eyes."

"Huh?" Morgan asked turning his attention to his friend, "What?"

"Just zip it and watch the runners" Dave whispered turning the man back around.

The three women, kept quiet after that, returning to watching their friend finish up his round, looking up as the team cheered him on.

"Woo hoo, bossman" Garcia cheered from her seat, while Hotch grinned at his team, "A sweaty Hotch, is a sexy Hotch."

"Yeah nothing screams sexy like a sweat filled, body odor man" Emily dryly said.

"Please, look at him" Garcia said, "The man is practically saying bang me, and I am sure his unit is huge. After all he is the Unit Chief."

The three women clammed up when Reid, Morgan and Dave came by with Jack, "We're going to wait by the cars, for Hotch, you guys want to come?"

"Where are we going?" JJ asked.

"This one wants to go out and celebrate with ice cream, right Jack." Dave said.

"With sprinkles" Jack grinned, "Coming Emmy?"

"Sure" Emily said, checking her phone, "Did you tell Hotch?"

"I was about to go look for him" Morgan said, then his cell phone rang, "Shoot it's Jade, hold on."

* * *

><p>Emily rolled her eyes as she scanned the locker rooms, "Damn Morgan and his girlfriend."<p>

It's not like she didn't mind looking for Hotch, but Reid was too busy entertaining Jack with his magic, Dave just happened to be approach a Dave Rossi groupie, and her so called best friends thought it'd be less embarrassing for her to find Hotch since they were both dating.

"Like being single makes me a valid candidate to go looking for our dressing boss." she murmured, shooting a janitor a glare, "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing" he said warily, grabbing his broom and moving along.

She knew deep down that her two friends wanted to shove her towards Hotch, since his ill fated romance with a museum curator fizzled out.

Right before she was about to turn on her heel, Garcia hissed out that this was the perfect opportunity to find out first hand if the Unit Chief was all legendary.

Knocking on the locker door, "Hotch?" she paused waiting for a reply, "Hotch, it's Emily."

Not hearing anything, she wondered if he had already finished up and opened up the door, praying she didn't make a fool of herself.

Looking around, she didn't hear any sound and as she was about to call out for him again she noticed the curtain open up.

"Prentiss" Hotch called out in surprise, while she got an eyeful of Hotch.

"Oh my God" she gasped, quickly turning around, "God, Hotch, I'm so sorry."

Covering himself up with a towel, "What are you doing in here?"

Keeping her back to him, as the image hit her again and a small chuckle escaped her throat, "Yeah the team's waiting outside... Uh, they want to take Jack out to get some ice cream."

"All right" Hotch said moving over to the lockers, "I'll be out, give me a minute."

Resisting the urge to laugh, "No problem."

"Sorry" Hotch said, grabbing his clothes.

"It's no biggie" Emily said biting her lip as she walked to the locker, "No big deal."

Watching her quickly rush off Hotch shrugged, reaching for his boxers he removed the towel and looked down.

"What the...?" he said startled by the lack of life in 'Little Hotch' due to the cold shower, looking back at the closed door, "Son of a bitch.

Emily sat in her apartment, completely mortified at the idea that she had embarrassed Hotch and saw his 'shortcomings'.

She couldn't resist the sigh at that image. Of course she still found the man attractive, but she couldn't help but be a tad bit depressed at that.

"Nobody's perfect" Emily muttered, "God, he must be so humiliated."

Laying down on the sofa, she rubbed her head, glad that she skipped out on grabbing ice cream with the team because she wouldn't be able to stop staring at him and then things would be really awkward.

Nope, she was squarely blaming this on JJ, Garcia and the inappropriate conversations but damn way to kill a dream.

She'd been happier to live in denial with her dreams.

Rubbing her forehead, she wondered how to she was going to avoid the most embarrassingly awkward conversation that was sure to hit them Monday morning.

She was sure it'd go something like, _'Well Prentiss, you seen what I've got. Try and keep it to yourself so everyone will still believe I'm the all Alpha Male.'_

* * *

><p>"Yeah, that won't be uncomfortable at all" Emily muttered, looking up when she heard a knock on the door.<p>

Walking over to the door, she groaned internally when she saw Hotch on the other side.

"God, why do you hate me?" she murmured, deciding to play it safe and pretend she wasn't home.

Stepping back from the door, she hoped that he think that she wasn't home.

"Prentiss, I know you're in there, open up" Hotch said through the door, "Garcia tracked your GPS. Open up."

Banging her head lightly on the door, she cursed whichever deity was listening as she opened the door.

"Hey, Hotch" Emily said, plastering on a fake smile, "What's up?"

Mentally kicking herself, at her innuendo, "I mean, hey."

Stepping inside, she closed the door, "I am so sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to walk in while you were in the shower. Don't worry, no one knows anything."

Hotch stood there and watched the rambling brunette, he said, "It's not what it looked like."

Emily stopped her ranting pace, turning to face him, "Excuse me?"

Hotch rolled his eyes, "That" he said, "It's not what it normally looks like."

Raising an eyebrow, "Oh, uh huh" she nodded, unconvinced, "Don't worry, I didn't see anything."

Giving her a skeptical look, "You certainly didn't act like it, the way you were acting."

"Look" Emily said, "What happened in the locker room, stays in the locker room."

Grumbling at her incensed behavior, Hotch grabbed Emily pulling the reluctant brunette in a deep kiss.

If he had to prove he was all man then so be it. It only made him that much insistent, besides it's not like he hadn't wanted to do this since the day he met her.

Emily tugged at Hotch, who was maneuvering them to the couch, while she finally gasped for air.

"What are you doing?" she asked breathlessly.

"Showing you what you do to me" Hotch said pulling her into another kiss, "I want you so much. Tell me you want me too."

His hands trailed up from her hips to her breasts, his thumbs ghosting over the nipples, "Tell me."

Biting her lower lip she nodded, "The bedroom."

As Hotch kicked the bedroom door closed, he laid the brunette down on the bed, and crawled between her legs straddling her hips.

She pulled him into a kiss, while his mouth moved to her neck, he could feel her grab the hem of his shirt tugging it off him.

He quickly removed her own shirt and his hands went to the snap of her jeans, while she kicked her shoes off, while he hesitated.

"Emily" he asked, watching her nod her head.

"Yes" she whispered giving him permission.

Faster then she could process, he removed the jeans throwing them on the floor. His eyes stared at the clover shaped mark on her chest. It angered him that some man would dare marr her perfection.

While her finger went to the light scars on his chest, she smiled up at him letting him know that she could feel the progress both made since their own dark dramas.

"God, you're beautiful" he murmured, his mouth kissing her lips.

Sitting up she unsnapped his jeans, her mind going blank as she removed him from his jeans and reached his waistline of his boxers, only for Hotch to stop her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, confused.

"Earlier when you walked into the locker room..."

"I'm sorry" she apologized feeling exposed while his hands were covering hers, stopping her from moving.

He ran his thumb over her full lips, "Shh, that's not what I'm going to say" he leaned in to kiss her, "What you saw, when I got out of the shower..."

Running her hands up to cup his cheeks, "That's not important, Hotch. It's ok."

"I had taken a cold shower" he told her knowingly, "That's the reason..."

Covering his mouth with her hands, "I want you now, Aaron."

He laid her on the bed, kicking off his boxers, he felt a gleam of male pride when she saw just how big he actually was.

"Oh" Emily said surprised, at the hardening length, he wrenched the panties from her body giving her a smirk.

"That's right" he said, grabbing her legs that she wrapped around his waist, he dipped his finger in her core feeling how wet she was for him.

Emily wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into a deep kiss and gasping when he thrust into her both feeling a wave of pleasure hit their bodies.

"Mmm, Aaron" Emily murmured in content while he continued his slow thrusts in and out.

Moving her hips in time with his movements, she could feel how big he was and couldn't believe that she had laughed at that.

His hips jerking as her back arched up, they both knew it had been far too long for either of them.

Though he didn't want this to be over so soon, he was going to make damn sure it was memorable for her. Make them memorable for forever if he had his way.

He could feel her tightening around him, and slipping his hand between her folds, toying wit her bundle of nerves.

"Jesus, Aaron" she moaned out, as he grinded himself going deeper inside of her.

He could tell by the sounds that she was emitting that he was doing a good job, and he felt himself release inside of her falling over the edge with her going over too.

Falling on top of her, he leaned down and kissed her neck while she wrapped her arms around him, running her hands up and down his spine.

Rolling off her, he pulled the panting brunette into his arms holding her close to him. He was pleased with the satisfied look she wore.

A giggle escaped her lips making him look down at her, "What?"

Kissing him on the lips, "This was not how I imagined the end of my day playing out." resting her head on his chest, "But I can get use to this."

Dropping a kiss to her shoulder, he noticed the marks he left on her neck, a clear sign of marking her as his.

"Me too" he said, running his hands up and down her arms.

"You know the girls are going to want to know how I rate you" Emily murmured.

"What?" he asked.

"Size wise" she said, watching his face scrunch in confusion the horror, "You're a twenty."

"Out of?" he asked.

"On a scale of one to ten" she said smiling, her fingers touching his dimpled smile, "Even bigger then we talked about."

"You talk about the teams... packages?" he asked not liking this conversation.

"Yep, you just won first place" she said, "Bigger then Morgan's" she giggled when he pinched her, "Guess there is a reason they call you the Unit Chief."

"Oh I'll give you the Unit Chief" Hotch's tone said playfully rolling on top of her making her giggle.

* * *

><p>Evander Holyfield said, "It's not the size of a man, but the size of his heart that matters."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>THE END<strong>

I hope you all enjoyed this, don't forget to leave a review.


End file.
